Sorry, So Sorry

My stupid mouth

Has got me in trouble

I said too much again

To those of you who read an angry rant earlier, I'd like to sincerely apologize for subjecting you to any hurt feelings it may have caused. Events like that are why I've become slow to speak a lot of the time, I hate to offend people without intending to cause as much controversy as statements I make tend to create. I'd still like to argue, though, that Sean and I only write when we have time to put enough thought and emotion into each post. For those of you who have no idea who I'm talking about, visit www.seanraybuck.blogspot.com and drink in the beautiful prose of a great young man from Texas State.

Humbly yours,

Anna

The Virtual Reality of Perfection

As the semester marches onward, I find myself surrounded by a different group of people. Though it's only been about a month since we came back to the wonderful university known as Texas State, there are noticable changes that have occurred in my own life. Now that I've become more comfortable with my surroundings, I've reverted to being the somewhat outgoing person that I used to be before I 'exiled' myself to the wide, wild land of Texas. I've also rekindled my country music fetish from fourth grade, but that's a completely different subject. I've become quite content in a place in which I expected to become severely depressed. Much like Paul (the apostle), I've found myself able to be satisfied in every situation I find myself in; this is probably one of the best qualities a person can have, assuming they do not deliberately change their own sense of self in the process. Being ingenuine makes the situation almost as fake as you make yourself because you're not actually acting or responding as you would in another setting. Imagine wearing a mask (or many masks) your entire life and not letting anyone see your real face.
If I were one of the people who had seen the mask for a long time and suddenly it was removed, these emotions would follow: surprise, confusion, anger, and intoleration. The person who had been hiding behind masks their whole life may have been interesting than any facades they had created for themself, but I cannot deny that I would be disgusted at the fact that they had to hide behind something fake in order to protect themselves from some absurd reason. I think this is part of my aversion to makeup, hairdye, and the like; those things create a different image of who you are. Though they may be used to "express oneself", I often find that they're used more as protection from others' judgments. I understand the joy that comes with experimenting with colors and accentuating certain facial features, but there is something much more beautiful about a person who is unafraid of who they are, flaws and all.
A recent aquaintence of mine, who I'm sure most people would find gorgeous, is also by far one of the least natural girls I've ever seen. Dark tan skin, light brown hair with blonde highlights, greenish eyes, a wonderful smile, and a great body, this girl could almost be mistaken for a lifesize doll (aside from the fact that she's about 5'2" and I'm about 5'6"); the only thing that bothers me is how fake the tan is, how obvious the highlights are, and how unusually perky is most of the time. I'd say this girl is afraid of who she really is underneath all the sparkly eyeshadow, foundation, lip gloss, tan, and hair dye. These people always carry themselves as confident individuals, but I cannot help wondering whether they have more problems than someone who works with what God gave them. After all, didn't he give us "more than enough"? Why, then, would we need to hide the image he originally created for us? This whole need to look like the next 'perfect' person is just wrong. There is no perfect individual on earth; even Barbie dolls aren't perfect. Jesus was perfect though, which is absolutely amazing to consider. Every move he made, everything he said, everything he wore, everything he ate contributed to his perfection. Now there's a rolemodel.
Trying to keep it real,
Anna

Home, Sweet Home

from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. -Ephesians 4:16

Living arrangements for next year: possibly the most exciting topic currently! This August, Moriah, Jessie, Kimberly, and I will all be moving in to a space of our own. On our ride to tour University Club on Saturday, we decided that wherever we live, it will be called The MAJK (Magic) House. Today we made our final decision, to live in Sterling. I'm extremely contented with the way we all cooperate and complement each other. In this coming year, I hope that we have a peaceful house in which we all feel relieved to return to at the end of a long day at school. I pray that our unity under one roof will help us become close friends who are unafraid to share their true feelings with one another and that God will be evident in our everyday life. I'd like everyone who enters to feel welcome; that we all work together without frustration or conflict.

I was feeling miserable today, probably because I haven't been getting adequate sleep for the past few days; Kimberly gave me some Aleve Cold and Sinus pills before we went to look at the Sterling apartments. It's amazing what medicine can do; I'm more of a naturalist for no reason at all, but there are just times when pain just needs to be relieved the more modern way. I honestly don't know why I'm so against medicine and multivitamins; being a nutrition major, people always ask me about taking vitamins and I cringe because the advice is a bit confusing. People shouldn't take vitamins because they eat horribly; rather, they should take them to supplement the well-balanced diet they normally follow. A diet of Twinkies and Coke cancels out any benefits of those vitamins, much like a brief bout vigorous exercise each day will be cancelled out if you're an extreme couch potato. Bottom line: use medicine and vitamins at your own risk.

Somehow, this day went from unbearable to strangely enjoyable. I met a guy who was in one of my nutrition classes last semester today; somehow he recognized me, so we talked while waiting in line for food (what else, really now). There's nothing more stimulating than discussing nutrition with attractive boys who remember me - especially when there's the chance of seeing him in most of my future classes. Anyway, I've been procrastinating with the final draft of my English essay for entirely too long now, so I need to return to that while daydreaming...

Just another excited, sick procrastinator/daydreamer,

Anna