Uncertainty

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?" *Switchfoot*
Many people are still searching for their purpose in life, myself included. Who will I be in ten years, where will I be, and what will my life be like? Everyone wonders what the future holds, especially in times of transition. Change: one of the most common fears in humans. Uncertainty of one's future is so worthless though; worry will not change what happens, it will merely prolong anguish and distract one from present circumstances. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) One of the hardest things for me to give up is my desire to control my life without God's help. Why is it so hard though, when I already know that I cannot heal the sick nor play matchmaker?
As Thanksgiving approaches, I realize that I should be thankful for my circumstance despite certain struggles. Yet I still wish I could change things to fit my own wishes. I wish I could be more outgoing, I wish I still lived in Virginia, I wish cancer never existed, but I know God planned all this for a reason. Whatever happens is not up to me, and no matter how much I try to manipulate situations, everything will eventually fall into place with God's plan. Being human is just complicated, taking life step by step and not knowing where He is leading you. Particularly, as Americans who are always on the go, rushing to do everything, we need to stop. "Be still and know that He is God." Only He directs the future and we need to acknowledge that we cannot accomplish anything without His go-ahead.
I cannot say I'm alright with my aunt's chemo or my distance from people that I care very much about, but I trust that God will use this for His plan for my life. I have no idea where I'm going to be ten years from now; at this point I plan on being the pretty single girl that every man wishes they had married, but I could just as easily be the happy wife with a beautiful family living in that spacious house with the white pickett fence. Mary Tyler Moore of June Cleaver...we'll just have to wait and see! Either way, I know I will be able to do God's will by living as He planned before I was even conceived. And with this I leave you with one question: are you satisfied with your life?
Your eternal optimist,
Anna